Do Not Say Coarse Things As Foal Mouth

Evil speech is speaking slanderousness to insult, threaten the others. That is why people should not to speak due to making the others injure.

In life, to emphasize into mentality of children and students, parents and teachers may give hard words for those to give up their bad behaviors. Since giving hard words, one using serious intonation with louder voice does not mean evil speaking people. But in another case, it becomes an evil speech, and makes the hearers vulnerable, especially to the children. For example, one is angry to his son, and then he says “Go to the hell!!!” This scolding became the evil speech.

Many people ask me how to teach children, including whether they should shout at and use violence to those who are mischievous, lazy and disobeydient. I said those of actions are not great choice, and we should use hard words in fit moment to waken them. For instance, I advise parents to say to their children that parents cannot stay forever with them, they should be afford and be independent in the retired life. Saying logical hard words in suitable time and place is better than using evil speech and violence; help kids recognize what they should try to do or not.

I knew a man whom does not take Triratna Refuge but always goes to pagoda to study dharma. He usually talks to me. One day, I used to say that “You are old and may go far away before me. Maybe when I would be at your present age, I will not at here. Unless your taking Triratna Refuge, it will too late to wait the day I pass away.”

After hearing that, that man started to think about taking refuge. Finally, he decided to follow Buddha Dharma. What I said in this case is strong words, not evil words. Besides, shouting is not evil speech. We usually use stronger and louder voice may create confliction. It takes many calorie to speak loudly and strongly. So I rarely speak like that except in an emergency or warning case. Students do not hear my lesson or ignore me, which will get strong, hard words.

We need to speak loudly and strongly in suitable place and time, because it may out of its function. Speaking loudly is abnormal method to deal with abnormal case. We should not abuse it. We should talk softly, modestly, and respect the audients instead of talking louder and stronger. Whatever you use a normal or abnormal way to speak, the most important thing you should to remember how to apply successfully. To do this, you should gain a great mind and flexible dealing.

Translated into English by Cam Nhung