Tan Hiep - Hoc Mon - Ho Chi Minh
Wednesday, 03/22/2023
Education
5 Practices for Nurturing Happiness
Update: 15/07/2016
Therefore, we may\r\nthink that we’re “doing it wrong.†Somehow we are “failing at happiness.†That\r\nisn’t true. Being able to enjoy happiness doesn’t require that we have zero\r\nsuffering.
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In fact, the art of\r\nhappiness is also the art of suffering well. When we learn to acknowledge,\r\nembrace, and understand our suffering, we suffer much less. Not only that, but\r\nwe’re also able to go further and transform our suffering into understanding,\r\ncompassion, and joy for ourselves and for others.
\r\n\r\nOne of the most\r\ndifficult things for us to accept is that there is no realm where there’s only\r\nhappiness and there’s no suffering. This doesn’t mean that we should despair.\r\nSuffering can be transformed. As soon as we open our mouth to say “suffering,â€\r\nwe know that the opposite of suffering is already there as well. Where there is\r\nsuffering, there is happiness.
\r\n\r\nAccording to the\r\ncreation story in the biblical book of Genesis, God said, “Let there be light.â€\r\nI like to imagine that light replied, saying, “God, I have to wait for my twin\r\nbrother, darkness, to be with me. I can’t be there without the darkness.†God\r\nasked, “Why do you need to wait? Darkness is there.†Light answered, “In that\r\ncase, then I am also already there.â€
\r\n\r\nIf we focus\r\nexclusively on pursuing happiness, we may regard suffering as something to be\r\nignored or resisted. We think of it as something that gets in the way of\r\nhappiness. But the art of happiness is also the art of knowing how to suffer\r\nwell. If we know how to use our suffering, we can transform it and suffer much\r\nless. Knowing how to suffer well is essential to realizing true happiness.
\r\n\r\nHealing Medicine
\r\n\r\nThe main affliction of\r\nour modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering\r\ninside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption. Retailers\r\npeddle a plethora of devices to help us cover up the suffering inside. But\r\nunless and until we’re able to face our suffering, we can’t be present and\r\navailable to life, and happiness will continue to elude us.
\r\n\r\nThere are many people\r\nwho have enormous suffering, and don’t know how to handle it. For many people,\r\nit starts at a very young age. So why don’t schools teach our young people the\r\nway to manage suffering? If a student is very unhappy, he can’t concentrate and\r\nhe can’t learn. The suffering of each of us affects others. The more we learn\r\nabout the art of suffering well, the less suffering there will be in the world.
\r\n\r\nMindfulness is the\r\nbest way to be with our suffering without being overwhelmed by it. Mindfulness\r\nis the capacity to dwell in the present moment, to know what’s happening in the\r\nhere and now. For example, when we’re lifting our two arms, we’re conscious of\r\nthe fact that we’re lifting our arms. Our mind is with our lifting of our arms,\r\nand we don’t think about the past or the future, because lifting our arms is\r\nwhat’s happening in the present moment.
\r\n\r\nTo be mindful means to\r\nbe aware. It’s the energy that knows what is happening in the present moment.\r\nLifting our arms and knowing that we’re lifting our arms—that’s mindfulness,\r\nmindfulness of our action. When we breathe in and we know we’re breathing in,\r\nthat’s mindfulness. When we make a step and we know that the steps are taking\r\nplace, we are mindful of the steps. Mindfulness is always mindfulness of\r\nsomething. It’s the energy that helps us be aware of what is happening right now\r\nand right here—in our body, in our feelings, in our perceptions, and around us.
\r\n\r\nWith mindfulness, you\r\ncan recognize the presence of the suffering in you and in the world. And it’s\r\nwith that same energy that you tenderly embrace the suffering. By being aware\r\nof your in-breath and out-breath you generate the energy of mindfulness, so you\r\ncan continue to cradle the suffering. Practitioners of mindfulness can help and\r\nsupport each other in recognizing, embracing, and transforming suffering. With\r\nmindfulness we are no longer afraid of pain. We can even go further and make\r\ngood use of suffering to generate the energy of understanding and compassion\r\nthat heals us and we can help others to heal and be happy as well.
\r\n\r\nGenerating Mindfulness
\r\n\r\nThe way we start\r\nproducing the medicine of mindfulness is by stopping and taking a conscious\r\nbreath, giving our complete attention to our in-breath and our out-breath. When\r\nwe stop and take a breath in this way, we unite body and mind and come back\r\nhome to ourselves. We feel our bodies more fully. We are truly alive only when\r\nthe mind is with the body. The great news is that oneness of body and mind can\r\nbe realized just by one in-breath. Maybe we have not been kind enough to our\r\nbody for some time. Recog-nizing the tension, the pain, the stress in our body,\r\nwe can bathe it in our mindful awareness, and that is the beginning of healing.
\r\n\r\nIf we take care of the\r\nsuffering inside us, we have more clarity, energy, and strength to help address\r\nthe suffering of our loved ones, as well as the suffering in our community and\r\nthe world. If, however, we are preoccupied with the fear and despair in us, we\r\ncan’t help remove the suffering of others. There is an art to suffering well.\r\nIf we know how to take care of our suffering, we not only suffer much, much\r\nless, we also create more happiness around us and in the world.
\r\n\r\nWhy the Buddha Kept\r\nMeditating
\r\n\r\nWhen I was a young\r\nmonk, I wondered why the Buddha kept practicing mindfulness and meditation even\r\nafter he had already become a buddha. Now I find the answer is plain enough to\r\nsee. Happiness is impermanent, like everything else. In order for happiness to\r\nbe extended and renewed, you have to learn how to feed your happiness. Nothing\r\ncan survive without food, including happiness; your happiness can die if you\r\ndon’t know how to nourish it. If you cut a flower but you don’t put it in some\r\nwater, the flower will wilt in a few hours.
\r\n\r\nEven if happiness is\r\nalready manifesting, we have to continue to nourish it. This is sometimes\r\ncalled conditioning, and it’s very important. We can condition our bodies and\r\nminds to happiness with the five practices of letting go, inviting positive\r\nseeds, mindfulness, concentration, and insight.
\r\n\r\n1.\r\nLETTING GO
\r\n\r\nThe first method of\r\ncreating joy and happiness is to cast off, to leave behind. There is a kind of\r\njoy that comes from letting go. Many of us are bound to so many things. We\r\nbelieve these things are necessary for our survival, our security, and our\r\nhappiness. But many of these things—or more precisely, our beliefs about their utter\r\nnecessity—are really obstacles for our joy and happiness.
\r\n\r\nSometimes you think\r\nthat having a certain career, diploma, salary, house, or partner is crucial for\r\nyour happiness. You think you can’t go on without it. Even when you have\r\nachieved that situation, or are with that person, you continue to suffer. At\r\nthe same time, you’re still afraid that if you let go of that prize you’ve\r\nattained, it will be even worse; you will be even more miserable without the\r\nobject you are clinging to. You can’t live with it, and you can’t live without\r\nit.
\r\n\r\nIf you come to look\r\ndeeply into your fearful attachment, you will realize that it is in fact the\r\nvery obstacle to your joy and happiness. You have the capacity to let it go.\r\nLetting go takes a lot of courage sometimes. But once you let go, happiness\r\ncomes very quickly. You won’t have to go around searching for it.
\r\n\r\nImagine you’re a city\r\ndweller taking a weekend trip out to the countryside. If you live in a big\r\nmetropolis, there’s a lot of noise, dust, pollution, and odors, but also a lot\r\nof opportunities and excitement. One day, a friend coaxes you into getting away\r\nfor a couple of days. At first you may say, “I can’t. I have too much work. I\r\nmight miss an important call.â€
\r\n\r\nBut finally he\r\nconvinces you to leave, and an hour or two later, you find yourself in the\r\ncountryside. You see open space. You see the sky, and you feel the breeze on\r\nyour cheeks. Happiness is born from the fact that you could leave the city\r\nbehind. If you hadn’t left, how could you experience that kind of joy? You\r\nneeded to let go.
\r\n\r\n2.INVITING\r\nPOSITIVE SEEDS
\r\n\r\nWe each have many\r\nkinds of “seeds†lying deep in our consciousness. Those we water are the ones\r\nthat sprout, come up into our awareness, and manifest outwardly.
\r\n\r\nSo in our own\r\nconsciousness there is hell, and there is also paradise. We are capable of\r\nbeing compassionate, understanding, and joyful. If we pay attention only to the\r\nnegative things in us, especially the suffering of past hurts, we are wallowing\r\nin our sorrows and not getting any positive nourishment. We can practice\r\nappropriate attention, watering the wholesome qualities in us by touching the\r\npositive things that are always available inside and around us. That is good\r\nfood for our mind.
\r\n\r\nOne way of taking care\r\nof our suffering is to invite a seed of the opposite nature to come up. As\r\nnothing exists without its opposite, if you have a seed of arrogance, you have\r\nalso a seed of compassion. Every one of us has a seed of compassion. If you\r\npractice mindfulness of compassion every day, the seed of compassion in you\r\nwill become strong. You need only concentrate on it and it will come up as a\r\npowerful zone of energy.
\r\n\r\nNaturally, when\r\ncompassion comes up, arrogance goes down. You don’t have to fight it or push it\r\ndown. We can selectively water the good seeds and refrain from watering the\r\nnegative seeds. This doesn’t mean we ignore our suffering; it just means that\r\nwe allow the positive seeds that are naturally there to get attention and\r\nnourishment.
\r\n\r\n3.\r\nMINDFULNESS-BASED JOY
\r\n\r\nMindfulness helps us\r\nnot only to get in touch with suffering, so that we can embrace and transform\r\nit, but also to touch the wonders of life, including our own body. Then\r\nbreathing in becomes a delight, and breathing out can also be a delight. You\r\ntruly come to enjoy your breathing.
\r\n\r\nA few years ago, I had\r\na virus in my lungs that made them bleed. I was spitting up blood. With lungs\r\nlike that, it was difficult to breathe, and it was difficult to be happy while\r\nbreathing. After treatment, my lungs healed and my breathing became much better.\r\nNow when I breathe, all I need to do is to remember the time when my lungs were\r\ninfected with this virus. Then every breath I take becomes really delicious,\r\nreally good.
\r\n\r\nWhen we practice\r\nmindful breathing or mindful walking, we bring our mind home to our body and we\r\nare established in the here and the now. We feel so lucky; we have so many\r\nconditions of happiness that are already available. Joy and happiness come\r\nright away. So mindfulness is a source of joy. Mindfulness is a source of\r\nhappiness.
\r\n\r\nMindfulness is an\r\nenergy you can generate all day long through your practice. You can wash your\r\ndishes in mindfulness. You can cook your dinner in mindfulness. You can mop the\r\nfloor in mindfulness. And with mindfulness you can touch the many conditions of\r\nhappiness and joy that are already available. You are a real artist. You know\r\nhow to create joy and happiness any time you want. This is the joy and the\r\nhappiness born from mindfulness.
\r\n\r\n4.CONCENTRATION
\r\n\r\nConcentration is born\r\nfrom mindfulness. Concentration has the power to break through, to burn away\r\nthe afflictions that make you suffer and to allow joy and happiness to come in.
\r\n\r\nTo stay in the present\r\nmoment takes concentration. Worries and anxiety about the future are always\r\nthere, ready to take us away. We can see them, acknowledge them, and use our\r\nconcentration to return to the present moment.
\r\n\r\nWhen we have\r\nconcentration, we have a lot of energy. We don’t get carried away by visions of\r\npast suffering or fears about the future. We dwell stably in the present moment\r\nso we can get in touch with the wonders of life, and generate joy and\r\nhappiness.
\r\n\r\nConcentration is\r\nalways concentration on something. If you focus on your breathing in a relaxed\r\nway, you are already cultivating an inner strength. When you come back to feel\r\nyour breath, concentrate on your breathing with all your heart and mind.\r\nConcentration is not hard labor. You don’t have to strain yourself or make a\r\nhuge effort. Happiness arises lightly and easily.
\r\n\r\n5.\r\nINSIGHT
\r\n\r\nWith mindfulness, we\r\nrecognize the tension in our body, and we want very much to release it, but\r\nsometimes we can’t. What we need is some insight.
\r\n\r\nInsight is seeing what\r\nis there. It is the clarity that can liberate us from afflictions such as\r\njealousy or anger, and allow true happiness to come. Every one of us has\r\ninsight, though we don’t always make use of it to increase our happiness.
\r\n\r\nWe may know, for\r\nexample, that something (a craving, or a grudge) is an obstacle for our\r\nhappiness, that it brings us anxiety and fear. We know this thing is not worth\r\nthe sleep we’re losing over it. But still we go on spending our time and energy\r\nobsessing about it. We’re like a fish who has been caught once before and knows\r\nthere’s a hook inside the bait; if the fish makes use of that insight, he won’t\r\nbite, because he knows he’ll get caught by the hook.
\r\n\r\nOften, we just bite\r\nonto our craving or grudge, and let the hook take us. We get caught and\r\nattached to these situations that are not worthy of our concern. If mindfulness\r\nand concentration are there, then insight will be there and we can make use of\r\nit to swim away, free.
\r\n\r\nIn springtime when\r\nthere is a lot of pollen in the air, some of us have a hard time breathing due\r\nto allergies. Even when we aren’t trying to run five miles and we just want to\r\nsit or lie down, we can’t breathe very well. So in wintertime, when there’s no\r\npollen, instead of complaining about the cold, we can remember how in April or\r\nMay we couldn’t go out at all. Now our lungs are clear, we can take a brisk\r\nwalk outside and we can breathe very well. We consciously call up our\r\nexperience of the past to help ourselves treasure the good things we are having\r\nright now.
\r\n\r\nIn the past we\r\nprobably did suffer from one thing or another. It may even have felt like a\r\nkind of hell. If we remember that suffering, not letting ourselves get carried\r\naway by it, we can use it to remind ourselves, “How lucky I am right now. I’m\r\nnot in that situation. I can be happyâ€â€”that is insight; and in that moment, our\r\njoy, and our happiness can grow very quickly.
\r\n\r\nThe essence of our\r\npractice can be described as transforming suffering into happiness. It’s not a\r\ncomplicated practice, but it requires us to cultivate mindfulness,\r\nconcentration, and insight.
\r\n\r\nIt requires first of\r\nall that we come home to ourselves, that we make peace with our suffering,\r\ntreating it tenderly, and looking deeply at the roots of our pain. It requires\r\nthat we let go of useless, unnecessary sufferings and take a closer look at our\r\nidea of happiness.
Finally, it requires that we nourish happiness daily, with acknowledgment,\r\nunderstanding, and compassion for ourselves and for those around us. We offer\r\nthese practices to ourselves, to our loved ones, and to the larger community.\r\nThis is the art of suffering and the art of happiness. With each breath, we\r\nease suffering and generate joy. With each step, the flower of insight blooms.
(The great Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh suffered a\r\nserious stroke in November of 2014. (You can contribute to his relief\r\neffort,here). We join\r\npractitioners around the world in sending our prayers and good wishes for his\r\nfull recovery. Thich Nhat Hanh’s life is inspiring, his benefit great, and his\r\nteaching, like the dharma itself, profound and practical.) – Lion’s Roar
Soure from: http://www.lionsroar.com/5-practices-for-nurturing-happiness/
Thich Nhat Hanh