“ The Dharma is endless, unlimited and forgiven
         Wonderful Dharma is  greatly eternal, true and rational ”.

Dear Master,  I am an abandoned son who has been considered as dissatisfaction of the family. My father was a drunk man, my mother a gambler. I was usually blamed seriously every day despite no mistake. When my relatives were sad, I was hungry and when they were happy, I was feeded with the food full of my tears. Everyone used to look down to me pitifully and scornfully, except my grand- mother.  At the age of thirteen, I witnessed my parents, at the court, rudely argued on money and responsibilities for their child. I felt disappointed and miserable. Then I thought of death. I took lots of sleepy medicine but was still alive. I wanted to die for liberty from suffering. I climbed up to the top of the mountain and intended to jump down.

At that moment, Buddha Dharma came to me wonderfully. I met a monk who brought me belief and values of life. There was something unclear but radiant to help break darkness of my foolish ideas. I began to pray for my parents’ mental changes and coming to the Dharma. Time passed quickly, I  continued study on money earned from part-time job. After graduation from the university I had a stable job. It seemed to enter in Buddhism that life would smile with me. However, an accident killed my lover. More unfortunately, potential of cancer was found while I was at the hospital. I felt unconscious, extremely exhausted and heart-broken .

The Patriarches taught,“ Practice without understanding is blind cultivation ; Understanding without practice is bookworm”. Buddhahood is difficult to start but evil thoughts easily appear. I supposed everything is good thanks to Buddha recitation .  But I was still unhappy. What’s that? The three poisons of greed , anger and delusion fire in my mind fiercely making me unrational and stubborn. I hated everyone as well as the world, ignoring proper understanding, no longer believing The Three Jewels nor  maintaining observation of the five precepts. All evil thoughts came to my mind. I tried all of efforts for money and used money to satisfy myself in craving and longing. I badly treated everyone .

The Buddha taught,“ There is a knife hidden in your mouth, which leading to killing yourself due to  your malicious speech ”. I remembered that my father cooked soup and brought it to me. He was afraid of my hunger because I stayed up late. I kept the soup bowl in my hand, then coldly threw it down, driving him away. My cruel sayings and stubborn actions were always available for all my relatives. I wanted them to regret and suffer miseries a hundred times more than  mine. Unforgetable to obsession of the boyhood and unforgivable to relatives, I becam more overbearing, seeking fame to forget everything even myself. I tried to behave as if I had been a happy, positive and energetic man. But at  dark, I felt lonely, quiet and tears  came down on my cheeks. Whenever  Tết holidays ( lunar  New Year Days ) came, everyone gathered, uniting happy families. Only a man silently hid himself in a corner of the room. I blamed for my miserable fate. I just dreamed of love and happiness in my own family .

“ Save me from suffering life
Buddhas compassionately love all living beings
May I be saved  from life full of suffeings
Great Mind of  Sympathy throughout the universe ”.

Another time, the Dharma came to me again as the sound of Buddhist bell expelling darkness. The deep bell voice from Hoằng Pháp Retreats helped me overcome obstacles. Someone said,” Hatred harms human minds, making people be urglier,be older and die soon; Love and Forgiveness is Amrta pouring into their minds, making people be good-looking, be young and live long”.I, after a terrible dream, became conscious and wise with happy tears. Miseries seemed to be away. I realized deepness and wonder of the Buddha Dharma. Our pure mind will lead environmental states to purity. Good seeds were sowed in my mind, Masters’ Amrta cleaning unpure karmic attachments there. The abbot’s saying is always in my mind, ”If you‘d like to repay your Masters, Try to diligently cultivate, be vegetarian, recite the Buddha’s name, do goods such as generosity. Those are practical methods help you to show gratitude to us ”. Returning home, I vowed for  permanent vegetarian diet, generosity, doing Buddhist work  for good effect, taking the Ten Noble Virtues. Then on, whenever I was free, I listened to the sutras, Buddhist talks and repentance. I seeked chances to study Buddhism. I recited sutras, sat quietly to recite Buddha’s name in mind  in accordance with the arranged schedules of the retreat. I was friendly and open with anyone, self- pleasant,  smiling with my father the first time. I gave  up all bad behavior, attitude and actions. At first, everybody seemed surprised, considering me as crazy about Buddhism. I just smiled. I didn’nt mind of worldly speech. I believed that Buddhas were protecting me. There was only the sentence “Namo Shakyamuni ” repeated over and over in my mind.

"Buddhism is compassion
Buddhism is liberty
Buddhism is wisdom".

Buddhist seeds in my spirit are growing . The more love is , the happier we are . The deeper love is , the greater happiness becomes. “ To let out everything  is for attainment of everything else. Giving up hatred is to have love, and forgiveness is to have happiness.  The Dharma is now the ideal path of my life. I am always peaceful, happy and pure, even in the face of  unpleasant situations. My disease is weakened.  I see that  the good effect comes from my everyday reciting Medicine Master Buddha’s Dharani. Furthermore, my once praying comes to true. My family changes completely. In the past, the grandmother didn’nt believe the Sangha , never went to pagodas.  She now likes getting to pagodas. My father  scorned when seeing a pagoda and gave high words when seeing  monks. It is not so. He usually recites the Buddha’s name and listen to sutras recitation. He often asks me for seeking Buddhist sutras or lectures on internet. He buys rice for charitable work, bringing flowers and fruits as offerings to the temples. My mother is Christianity follower but being on a vegetarian diet like me and wearing a pure gray robe. My brother follows me to the pagoda for good effects, reciting sutras and agitating all his family to take Refuge in the Three  Jewels.

The first of the Four Noble Truths is lives full of miseries, sentient beings having to suffer miseries. I thank for  wonderful dimensionof Cause and Effect in my life, though many made me extremely unhappy. Without the attention of killing myself, I couldn’t  have met the old monk  nor  having complete spiritual power to overcome the unlucky fate. If there hadn’t been ultimate suffering, I wouldn’t have  known Hoằng Pháp monastery nor understood the Law of  Cause and Effect. I wouldn’t have realized peace and bliss, as well as the  true values of the Dharma. I sincerely regret on the past mistakes I made.“ Present parents are similar to Buddhas existing in the world ”. I honestly and respectfully take care of my parens all life time.

 “Learning Buddhist sutras is difficult; Meeting imtimates is difficult”. May I   live in the Radiant Light of Buddhas, listen to perfect Dharma, be beside intimates, life after life. May wholesome effects come to me fast, helping me to cease worldly attachment, be free and peaceful and  satisfy Buddhist cultivation in life”. May I  learn all  of wholesome practice, eradicate the Three Poisons of  Greed, Anger and Delution, open my mind to share and sympathize with the others and do good  as much as possible for liberal bliss to fragrantly spread everywhere

“ To do evil deeds by oneself
   To pollute one’s mind by oneself
   To avoid evil deeds by oneself
   To purify one’s mind by oneself
   To be pure or unpure by oneself
   No one can purify the others’ minds ”.

(Dharmapada sutra).
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